Why Do The Strange Men Offer Me Candy

Mommy, why do the strange men want to give me candy? Everywhere I go in The Colony on Halloween there are a lot of people offering me candy; but when I am walking around on other days too, some strange men offer me candy. They usually drive a big old’ van and wear aviator sun glasses and say “Come ‘ere little boy, get some candy.” It is even scarier than Halloween monsters, mommy. One time one of the men in The Colony offered me candy and then took me into his basement and made me “rub the lotion on my skin” it was really weird. I don’t want to go out trick or treating this year mommy, because half the people on Baker give me broken glass, and rat traps for Halloween, I don’t think they know what candy is, one time I asked for some and a strange black man grabbed me, took me to his house, and attempted to sell me drugs! Then he stabbed me, oh mommy it hurts, I don’t want anymore candy. Someone told me that an evil Frankenstein lives in Bill Allen and he eats babies intestines, please mommy, I don’t want the Frankenstein to eat my intestines mommy, I love my intestines.